Category: self-abuse

Carrie Fisher

This is the Carrie Fisher I knew, which is to say I never knew her.

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She had a substantial contribution to the creation of characters that were part of the magic of movies which my younger brother and I enjoyed. I never crushed on Carrie fisher or Princess Leia. My heart was already divided between Tina Turner and Yvonne Craig. I loved Star Wars, and I greatly admired the courage and humour of Carrie Fisher, the author, and the woman.  She struggled and she lived fiercely, on her terms. The world has lost a fighter, an actress, a writer, a comedian and an advocate for mental health. I have nothing to add but my admiration for the choices she made. Thank You, Carrie Fisher, for your smile and your courage.

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Passport in the car(continued from At the Mechanic)

Late or early

 

Mechanic:        Hello

Customer:        Oh, did I wake you?

Mechanic:        Did you wake me? Who is this?

Customer:        You’re fixing my car.

Mechanic:        Do you know what time it is?

Customer:        It’s late

Mechanic:        Or early – depending on how you look at it.

Customer:        I’m sorry. I didn’t know …

Mechanic:        Okay. What do you want?

Customer:        I’m at the airport and I don’t have a passport.

Mechanic:        What?

Customer:        It’s in my car.

Mechanic:        What?

Customer:        My passport. I left it in my car.

Mechanic:        And …

Customer:        I need it. Can you bring it to me?

Mechanic:        Are you insane? I’m a mechanic, not a courier.

Customer:        Could you have it sent here?

Mechanic:        What time does your flight leave?

Customer:        At 5:30.

Mechanic:        It’s – it’s 4:40. I don’t have enough time to get to the garage and get your passport to the airport.

Customer:        But I’ll miss my flight.

Mechanic:        Why don’t you take a later flight?

Customer:        I don’t know? …

Mechanic:        You’re not going to make it. It’s too far.

Customer:        Why is it too far?

Mechanic:        First I have to get to the garage; then I have to open up, and then I have to find your passport in your car. Next, I have to call a courier and wait for him to arrive. Finally, the courier has to get to the airport. The fastest that’s going to happen is two hours.

Customer:        Two hours?

Mechanic:        I think we’re really looking at three or four hours …even if I can find a 24-hour courier.

Customer:        What should I do?

Mechanic:        I think you should reschedule your flight.

Customer:        Reschedule? … for when?

Mechanic:        If I were you I’d reschedule for later in the afternoon.

 

This is a good chance to try an activity on intent and inflection. Call a student aside and tell them to be happy when they read, tell the other to be angry. Next time try one sad and one happy. Try energetic and really tired. Ask the audience to judge how effectively the speakers communicated. Don’t let the audience in on what the subtext is all about. With time, they can identify things for themselves.

The monster, the master, and the masses

I come not to praise the American Dream, but to bury it. We have seen the savage and public assassination of common sense. We have seen the naked aggression of an orange orangutan, and we have witnessed both reward and appeasement. We watched as leaders, lawmakers and the media stood aside and the Republican Party was allowed to build up their creature. We watched as the Democrats, through their arrogance and their malfeasance, attached the electrodes.
Make no mistakes, have no illusions America; you all brought this bigly monstrosity to life.
This morning, I am not any more fearful, but I am awake. We have seen the enemy, and it remains us. We have looked into the abyss and the abyss has looked back and chuckled. It’s honestly not that bad. Your only problem is the same problem you had yesterday; you expect others to be better. Sorry, they aren’t – and they’re not likely to change. Business is run to make a profit. Banks run to make a profit, and politicians run to make a profit. A US Presidential campaign does not spend billions of dollars, directly and indirectly, to put someone in a position to make a few hundred thousand dollars a year. It pays that money to put a mechanism in place to manipulate and enable manipulation. The mechanism is oiled and placed to engineer profit. Nothing has changed.
His Orangeness is a disaster, but he is also a cynical master of BS and dream-manipulation. This saffron-hued, irritable and ill-mannered manifestation of intolerant self-entitlement is an immature masturbatory power fantasy that handily plays into the wish-fulfillment of the millions deserving of better lives. There exist impatient millions, deserving for no other reason than they’ve bought into the lie of the American Dream, and they are willing to follow the dream-whisperer.
Sorry dreamers, you had your chance and you blew it. With Carter, and again with Sanders – you blew it. The working class exists to be worked, the middle class exists to grease the wheels of industry. The rich exist to get richer. The poor exist to scare the resistance out of everyone and make them content to be above it all.
Your participation in this is not entirely dictated. You can be more educated. You can be more informed. You can be self-motivated. You can work to realize hopes and actualize dreams, or you can just choose to sit. Stop waiting for change. Stop blaming others. Do better. Don’t support leaders, policies or businesses that do harm. Make better choices. Take responsibility. Make a change within yourself.

Mess

A startling testimony to the power of confusion

My life is a mess. Now before you start recommending therapy, self-help, medication, or herbal enemas; I’d better explain myself. I’m not talking about drug use, or alcohol abuse, or spousal neglect, and certainly not about spousal abuse.
No, the mess I’m in is more of a clutter. I’ve things to do, things to place, some places to go, and faces to place, then things to write and always clocks to race.I had every intention of writing a column a week. Well, a week passed, and then another and nothing happened.

My wife, in the meantime, has started a successful export business with precious little help from yours truly. Oh sure, I work. I even spend time with the kids and I tell outrageous lies to whoever is polite enough to listen or too dumb to run away. I call the time I’ve spent prevaricating, teaching.
I enjoy teaching, I love my wife and my kids, but the writing, luring me to the notebook or the computer, is some form of polite S&M.

When I don’t write, I’m tortured by imaginative, incredible, and sometimes inane visions. When I do write, I release these visions only to be rewarded by a large slick of spewed forth, half-digested textual tapioca within which I can sometimes find a nugget of good chewy stuff.

I feel an overwhelming urge to re-ingest this morsel and present it later as food for thought.
So I’m a half-baked writer with delusions of modesty and an overwhelming urge to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
I’ve actually found my therapy. I revel in the mess. I’m actually finding a way through the swamp. I enjoy the tattered landscape.
If I ever have the will power to clean, organize, re-evaluate, and chart a navigable course; I’ll end up more confused than I already am.

Top Ten Lists

Top ten reasons to Teach English

1. You can’t sit on the couch all year
2. Eventually The Kardashians is going to be cancelled
3. There is no new Star Trek franchise
4. Somebody has to do it
5. We can’t all work in retail
6. How many times are you going to apply at McDonalds?
7. Mom and Dad need a life
8. The girl next door is not ‘playing hard to get’
9. Someone is your graduating class needs to get a job
10. If you lived here, you’d already be home

Top ten reasons to live in the tropics

1. You’ll be there when the first coconuts come off the line
2. You could get a real suntan
3. People still won’t understand you, but you won’t care
4. Seasons? Who needs ‘em!?!
5. Sand gets in some interesting places.
6. Tan lines are better than …
7. Do you like shoveling snow?
8. Because you can
9. You will believe a man can fry
10. Fresh fruit

Top ten reasons to work overseas

1. You could use a change of scenery
2. Telemarketers won’t call
3. Something to talk about to your grand kids
4. Something to talk about on your next date
5. Get a date
6. Get off the couch
7. Disneyland is the most exotic place you can imagine
8. You need to update Facebook
9. Indonesia is not just a menu selection
10. Experience three kinds of Java (coffee, the island, and coding language)

Top ten reasons to leave home

1. Mom needs to change your sheets
2. Dad wants to have that talk with you
3. Uncle Bill’s off the wagon again
4. It’s better to have a housekeeper
5. Walmart
6. Oprah’s going off the air
7. Even Dave is moving on.
8. Your passport needs love
9. The grass is greener on the other side
10. Get tagged in some interesting photos

Top ten reasons to be a teacher

1. Respect and some money
2. Sometimes you’ll actually feel like a star
3. You can make a difference
4. What are you saving all that language for?
5. You need some experience
6. Are you experienced?
7. You have to learn grammar someday
8. We can’t all be on American Idol
9. It’s a great way to meet people
10. You’ll enjoy it

Top ten reasons to see the world

1. It’s changing
2. It’s an interesting place
3. If you stand in one place the world will not come to you
4. It’s there
5. You’ll be amazed by what you see
6. You’ll be amazed by what you hear
7. You’ll be amazed by what you feel
8. You’ll be amazed by what you taste
9. You’ll be amazed by what you smell
10. People will be amazed by you

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Yours sincerely,Wayne Duplessis
Indonesia, Surabaya

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